How to Stop Fearing Rejection

Speaker: Hello, and welcome to Photography Breakthrough Podcast.

Speaker: Today, I wanna talk about a word that nobody likes, no.

Speaker: No, thank you.

Speaker: Not right now.

Speaker: We decided to go in another direction.

Speaker: We're looking for something different.

Speaker: We'll keep your information on file.

Speaker: Everyone knows what this feels like, especially those who work in creative fields.

Speaker: You send an email.

Speaker: You submit the portfolio.

Speaker: You pitch the client.

Speaker: You enter the competition.

Speaker: You show work that matters deeply to you, and the answer is no.

Speaker: Or sometimes even worse, there is no answer at all.

Speaker: You hear crickets, silence, and that can hurt, especially when you care.

Speaker: I get it.

Speaker: Because rejection has a way of becoming personal very quickly.

Speaker: We don't hear this particular opportunity, this particular opportunity didn't work out, we hear, "I'm not good enough."

Speaker: We don't hear they chose someone else.

Speaker: We hear, my work isn't good enough.

Speaker: We don't hear, this isn't the right fit.

Speaker: What we hear in our mind is, maybe I don't belong here.

Speaker: And that is where rejection becomes dangerous.

Speaker: Not because someone said no, but because of the story we begin telling ourselves afterwards.

Speaker: Today, I want you to change that story.

Speaker: Because rejection is not always evidence that you are failing.

Speaker: Sometimes rejection is evidence that you are finally in the game.

Speaker: Think about it.

Speaker: You could not be rejected for an opportunity you never pursued.

Speaker: You cannot hear no from the client you never contacted.

Speaker: You cannot lose a competition you never entered.

Speaker: You cannot have a gallery decline your work if you never show it to them.

Speaker: And you cannot be turned down for something you were too afraid to ask for.

Speaker: So if you are hearing no sometimes, good.

Speaker: It means you are asking.

Speaker: And maybe this is the more important part.

Speaker: It means you're reaching beyond what's comfortable.

Speaker: You're putting yourself into situations where something is actually at stake.

Speaker: And that, my friends, is where growth happens.

Speaker: Now, trust me, I'm not saying rejection feels good.

Speaker: I know it doesn't.

Speaker: I'm also not saying that every rejection should simply be ignored.

Speaker: Because sometimes rejection contains very powerful information.

Speaker: Maybe your work does need to be stronger.

Speaker: Or improvements on your presentation.

Speaker: Or maybe your pricing is wrong.

Speaker: Whatever it is.

Speaker: Maybe you simply need more time.

Speaker: Those are all things we can learn from.

Speaker: But there's a huge difference between learning from rejection and allowing rejection to define you.

Speaker: One helps you grow and the other makes you stop.

Speaker: And stopping is the real danger.

Speaker: I've been working as a creative photographer for a long time, and I can tell you this.

Speaker: There has never been a level where rejection completely disappeared.

Speaker: Success doesn't remove rejection.

Speaker: Experience doesn't remove rejection.

Speaker: Awards don't remove rejection.

Speaker: A stronger portfolio doesn't remove rejection.

Speaker: You simply start asking bigger questions.

Speaker: You pursue bigger opportunities.

Speaker: You enter different rooms, and that means there are new opportunities to hear no.

Speaker: So perhaps the goal isn't to create a life where nobody rejects you.

Speaker: Maybe instead, the goal is to become somebody who is no longer destroyed by rejection.

Speaker: Someone who can hear no and say, "Okay, what can I learn? What can I improve? And what's next?"

Speaker: That last question is important.

Speaker: What's next?

Speaker: Not, what's wrong with me?

Speaker: Not, why does this always happen to me?

Speaker: Not, maybe I should quit.

Speaker: What's next?

Speaker: Because one no does not know what the next person will say.

Speaker: One client does not speak for every client.

Speaker: One gallery does not speak for every gallery.

Speaker: One judge does not speak for every judge.

Speaker: And one closed door does not mean there are no other doors.

Speaker: Sometimes you gotta kick the door down.

Speaker: Now listen closely because this part's important.

Speaker: You don't need everybody to say yes.

Speaker: Sometimes you have to go through 10, 20 nos to get to that yes.

Speaker: But once you get to the yes, all the no's before, they don't matter.

Speaker: So this week, I have a challenge for you.

Speaker: I want you to earn one no.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: I actually want you to go out and earn a rejection.

Speaker: Send that email that you are afraid to send.

Speaker: Contact that client you think is beyond your level.

Speaker: Ask for that meeting.

Speaker: Show somebody your work.

Speaker: Submit to an opportunity.

Speaker: Make an offer, pitch an idea, do something where no is a genuine possibility.

Speaker: Because if no is possible, yes is possible too.

Speaker: I wanna thank you for your time today, and I hope this resonated with one person.

Speaker: If it did, send me a message.

Speaker: I'd love to hear from you.

Speaker: Doing a podcast can feel lonely at times.

Speaker: It's like you're-- sometimes you feel like you're talking to no one.

Speaker: But if you hear this and it made a difference, drop me a line.

Speaker: You can find me on Instagram under my name Matthew Jordan Smith.

Speaker: Drop a line.

Speaker: Say hello.

Speaker: Let's start a conversation.

Speaker: I'd love to hear from you.

Speaker: All right, everyone, thank you for your time today.

Speaker: Always dream big, and until next time, bye for now.